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Tell me that I'm pretty by Koneco-chan Tell me that I'm pretty by Koneco-chan
This is my entry for the "Face your Monster" Contest.


Some of you might say: "Hey! That's no monster!" for those of you: Let me explain my thoughts.

When I heard the title I wasn't particularly thinking of a cliche monster, but rather the inner beast. Facing your fears, sins and evil sides.

This project was something I had in mind for a while and so I decided to morph it especially for this:

One of my biggest sins is vanity.
In this society a girl is judged by experience. Sure "Don't judge a book by it's cover" is a great thing to live by, but if we face it we see that hardly anyone obeys that rule.
So that is a lot of pressure on someone, especially when they aren't all too popular to begin with.
Then I am a cosplayer. And it's all about looks when you Cosplay. You have to portrait a character very detailed, look good with photoshoots and all that stuff.
There are a lot of critic people watching you, judging you...
And it's hard to not feel insecure about parts of yourself if you are putting yourself out there. Especially on the internet.

And since I don't think I will ever be able to get rid of that sin, to face my fear of being ugly and unattractive in the mind of others I chose to do a look in which I am defeated by that very wish for perfection.

The dramatic eye makeup and the bright red lipstick are supposed to be signs of "perfection" of overdoing beauty in a way that makes it twist.
That is where the other stuff comes in:
The tears and smeared lipstick are something to show how hard it is to be perfect, how distressed it makes people to look pretty.
The patch on my chest is a symbol of how bad it hurts to be left out. It's easier to rip your heart out and be a soulless doll, then to stand up for imperfection and character.
The cuts and bruises are signs of bullying brought to light. I used to just listen to what they say and wave it of: "Ugly bitch" "Fat she-man" and things like that kept on coming at me, but I simply smiled and acted as if it were nothing, like many others do as well.
Now lastly the eye:
There are many different aspects reflected in that:
First of course: distortion and goryness that is in fact supposed to make you feel sick to the stomach. It's supposed to be ugly and compelling to see, since it's an aftereffect of "beauty gone wrong".
Another aspect was taking the view. If you feel ugly you don't want to see yourself, gauge your eyes out, never see again. This is just a well dramatized version of that.


Lastly: The expression.
I chose this crazed smile and tears to underline how paradox this feeling and need of perfection is.
The smile is too wide, the eyes too wide.
Everything screams wrong.


And that is exactly what that striving for perfection is: wrong.

I have lost a lot of weight simply by not really eating anything, I am ashamed of working in the beauty industry, because I feel I am not pretty enough for those people to employ me and I think I will never be loved because I am a compelling, ugly bitch.
That is what "perfection" in media makes me think I am.
I know it's not right and that I don't look like a monster, but I can't help but wonder which part of me is more compelling.

The me as I look now or the me I strive to look like.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconasksammythegoldencat:
Asksammythegoldencat Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
mreow?
Reply
:icontquillasunrise:
tquillasunrise Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012
i love the concept of this picture, i just keep looking at it, every day, for minutes, i stare at it,i don't know why
i just do
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
AAAWWWW

that is slightly creepy but a lot more flattering XD
Reply
:icontquillasunrise:
tquillasunrise Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2012
i am a creepy person mwhahaha!
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
hahaha my favourite kind XD
Reply
:iconmysticmoonprincess:
MysticMoonprincess Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2011
I have no words for this

:huggle:
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconlalenca:
lalenca Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2011
the description makes it 100+ times better than it already is
i can tell you really thought this one ... well done (:
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot! X3

Well I just had too much time thinking and this happened XD
Reply
:iconlalenca:
lalenca Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011
hahah ayees but it's great.. good luck on the constest ! (:
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks!

I am really not thinking that I'll make the cut, but it was fun XD
Reply
:icondark-red-z:
Dark-Red-Z Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011
If I had to choose mine...it would be like this:
[link]

Utter helpnessness and the unparallelled hate and madness that comes with it.
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
A very good choice as well

This is also just a part of my monsters it's not like everyone has just one inorporating everything...right?
Reply
:iconwolfie157:
wolfie157 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011
amazing, really well thought out
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much ^^
Reply
:iconengelsmelodie:
EngelsMelodie Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011
nett XD
das stellt mein Halloween Kostüm leider komplett in den Schatten *sfz* jetzt hab ich gar keine Lust mehr mich zu schminken
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
neeeiiiin geh los und schmink dich will sehen!!!
Reply
:iconengelsmelodie:
EngelsMelodie Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
ich hab keine fotos gemacht XD
naja wir haben erst nicht dran gedacht und dann wars schon zu dunkel und alles wurde doof blurry und dann haben wir es gelassen und weiter abgespackt xD
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
D:

Ich wills sehen kannst du das nich nochmal machen? *_*
Reply
:iconengelsmelodie:
EngelsMelodie Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011
weißt du wie lange ich mich geschminkt habe? NIEMALS

außerdem hab ich hautausschlag von dem hautkleber gekriegt also kann ich es sowieso nicht mehr machen -.-
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
D:

holy moly

okay dann lass e

schade is es aber trotzdem
Reply
:iconengelsmelodie:
EngelsMelodie Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011
ja blöder mieser doofer dreckiger HAUTKLEBER

ICH HASSE IHN

Aber es war die Sache wert mein Ex Freund hat geschrieen vor Angst als er mich gesehen hat XD Oh ja that's payback :D
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
WOOHOO GOOO!!!! XD

das hätte ich zu gerne erlebt!
Reply
:icondead82:
dead82 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011  Hobbyist Interface Designer
O.O
something you want to tell me
dear not sane friend?
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
everything fine ^^
Reply
:icondead82:
dead82 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011  Hobbyist Interface Designer
suuuure
Reply
:iconmommy-silver:
Mommy-Silver Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Very well done, you've said it all already, so there's little I can add but my praise for your efforts :hug:
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much Mommy!
Reply
:iconphantomhourglass:
PhantomHourglass Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
loving this one very much and I like the explanation for it too.
Well done, you have a great and scary Halloween.

PS- I have the "Psycho" theme on right now lol.
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot Matt

hahahah me too I adore Halloween
Reply
:iconphantomhourglass:
PhantomHourglass Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2011
YOu're very welcome, hope you got the chance to scare some people.
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
sadly not but meh XD
Reply
:iconkurai89:
Kurai89 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011   Traditional Artist
Ich finde das ist ein irrsinnig tolles, ausdrucksstarkes Bild! Auch die Gedanken dahinter beeindrucken mich zu tiefst. Es ist irgendwie interssant zu wissen wie Leute die angst davor unattraktiv zu sein empfinden, da mir das eher fremd ist (Aber nicht weil ich glaube ich bin schön bin). Bin echt beeindruckt.
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Danke

Naja es ist natürlich überzeichnet und verdunkelt, aber schon irgendwie an der substanz
Reply
:iconkurai89:
Kurai89 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2011   Traditional Artist
Naja, das ist wohl alles für die Atmosphäre und so und es wirtkt. Ich finde es einfach nur toll. :D
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
japjap atmosphäre und so is voll wichtigstens XD
Reply
:iconkurai89:
Kurai89 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2011   Traditional Artist
Wohl gesprochen. :D
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconthanksplz:
Reply
:iconkurai89:
Kurai89 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2011   Traditional Artist
:hug:
Reply
:iconstarlight411:
Starlight411 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Student General Artist
Looks amazing...and alot of people feel like that...the need to be perfect in every way, but for some reason, its just unattainable. i am one of those people. Great job!! :3
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks a lot

Yeah it's one of the reasons I did this.
I guess people can relate to that
Reply
:iconkronos2501:
Kronos2501 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is how someone looks on the inside after years of bullying; it really takes a toll on you, and I speak from experience having been bullied myself, being called all those nasty names just as you have.

I see what's happening inside and it really is scary.
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
What you become is really scary. I was on the brink of bullimia. My grandmother told me I was fat, the people in school, my father

Everyone around me kept criticizing me and it really make me depressed and hateful towards myself.

I still feel that way sometimes and there are still people calling me names or making me feel insecure, but I have a more distant view of things.

This is just what my surrounding made me and well
One part of my inner monster

Maybe I will do some other dark parts of me as well in the future
Reply
:icondark-red-z:
Dark-Red-Z Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
DEM PROPS :iconfacebooklikeplz:
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
hahaha thanks ^^

it took me a lot of time
Reply
:iconkoneco-chan:
Koneco-chan Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks ^^ it took me long enough
Reply
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